Writer Nicole Cliffe put a simple call-out on Twitter last Wednesday afternoon after watching The Edge (a movie that features an improbable love triangle between Elle MacPherson, Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin): “Well, now I want to know how the various cheaters in your life/a loved one’s life have gotten caught.”

While it’s likely that most have been on one side of the awful equation of infidelity, usually people are pretty low-key on the details — but not today. Cliffe received dozens of replies with juicy details, heartbreaking reveals and shockingly dumb cover-up attempts.

Here are some, er, lowlights:

So while you can’t control getting hit by a bus, the very least you can do to show some regard for your significant other is to log out of your social media account on a shared computer. Or, you know, try to not cheat.